Biden: The Humgator!
A Commentary by J. D. Longstreet
Many months ago I mention how difficult it would be for a presidential candidate from a northeastern state to gain traction in the home of the Old Confederacy -- "The South."
Turns out my southern brethren and sisteren are so fed-up with the socialism of Obama that they are accepting the quintessential "Yankee" from Massachusetts, no less, with open arms.
One may explain it away by stating the obvious -- it is the choice of the lesser of two evils -- or -- one may state the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS: There IS NO CHOICE, at least as far as we Confederate-Americans are concerned.
Joe Biden scared the hell out of me!
Like so many Americans, I have laughed at Biden's antics for decades. No longer. I grew up. Joe's mental age seems to have stalled somewhere in that age range where potty humor is still funny.
Anyway, I have thought since about how my fellow southerners must have gaped, open-mouthed, at their TV sets that night and thought: "Saints preserve us from ANOTHER accursed carpetbagger!"
All Joe needed was a two-piece wool suit in a windowpane checked design, a stovepipe hat, and a long-eared mule to sit upon. He would have been straight out of Central Casting for one of those despised "carpetbaggers" come to a post war southern town bent on looting it of whatever was left.
His performance was revolting -- and that, dear heart, is putting it mildly.
We southern folk don't suffer fools lightly. Oh sure, we have our own fools and town idiots just like any place else. But we pay little or no attention to them -- even though we DO try to keep them safe from self-inflicted harm. (It is our Christian duty, don't you see.) Anything they say is given zero credence. Basically -- we tolerate them. It is a sort of beneficent shunning.
To Southerners, seeing Joe Biden, the Vice-President of the United States, on that stage, making a fool of himself before the world, had the effect of one of crazy Bill Sherman's cannon balls exploding on the capitol grounds in Columbia, South Carolina. It was frightening -- then it made them angry.
The primary question instantly became: What kind of President would choose a man like Biden as his number two?
There is no doubt -- in what passes these days for this scribe's mind -- that Biden really hurt the chances of his boss in the states of the Old Confederacy.
Just take a look at Florida. Even with a HUGE population of former "Yankees," Florida has forsaken Obama and swung over to the Romney/Ryan team -- the team with some manners.
North Carolina, has gone from toss-up status to solid Romney/Ryan, and I have no doubt that when the smoke clears on November 7th, my home state of South Carolina will have supported Romney/Ryan.
Look. Some scars run deep. Biden rubbed those scars 'til they were raw again with his -- ahem -- performance. It was unseemly.
Southern folk are a part of the US because we were forced to be -- at the point of a federal government bayonet. The southern states played a huge part in winning independence from Great Britain and played an even bigger part in the founding of the country with such southern notables as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison -- just to name a tiny fraction of those early southern patriots. Even the first President of the US was a southerner -- a Virginia farmer no less.
We have more than a little interest vested in this country. One of the things we ask, nay -- demand -- is that the leadership of the country be presentable in polite company.
So. Did Biden lose the South for Obama? We'll know November 7th ... maybe. In the meantime, there can be no question Biden's performance hurt Obama with southern voters, even though many are too polite to say so aloud.
We have a way of describing politicians like Biden here in the southeastern swamps. We call them "Humgators." For the benefit of those of you, dear readers, who have never heard of such an animal -- a "Humgator" is a politician with the brain of a hummingbird and the growl of an alligator. They are completely devoid of finesse, and they rarely have sense enough to keep their mouths shut.
If you've seen and heard Joe Biden -- you have seen a Humgator.
J. D. Longstreet